tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.comments2022-11-10T04:00:28.037-08:00Donated Generationdamianhadamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10765078467506261737noreply@blogger.comBlogger124125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-87615214417574501242015-07-30T05:01:20.767-07:002015-07-30T05:01:20.767-07:00Whether or not financially it was a motivating fac...Whether or not financially it was a motivating factor for you does nothing to counter the fact that numerous peer reviewed research shows that it was a motivating factor for many donors. Just as altruism is a major motivating factor for many too. These researchers did not have the position of all donors being evil before starting and were just assessing motives. So your postulation that they started out to prove an assumption is laughable.<br />If you are referring to me then you are wrong again. I know numerous donors who are absolutely fabulous people and the majority of those did it altruistically. Did they still receive money (reimbursement), yes. That still makes it a financial transaction whether they could have made more money elsewhere or didn't even get enough to cover expenses. Money still changed hands. <br />While you may not have made enough to make it a factor for you it obviously is for others. Not all clinics will "reimburse" the same amounts, so to also make an assumption based on your singular experience of not receiving enough to cover your expenses and then to apply that to the many is a poor extrapolation.damianhadamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10765078467506261737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-40825227914174344422015-07-29T23:46:17.842-07:002015-07-29T23:46:17.842-07:00The data is this. For ten visits each requiring a ...The data is this. For ten visits each requiring a two trips across town and a few hours away from work paid a combined total of less than half a day's pay. On a per-donation basis you could not have covered the taxi fare there let alone the return trip. There are much easier ways to make money. If you start with a blank sheet you would never construe this as a financial exercise. If you start with the assumption the donor is evil then it becomes easy to attribute such motives.<br /><br />CS<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-30257074116410600032015-07-29T22:37:19.043-07:002015-07-29T22:37:19.043-07:00Additionally the biggest systematic review of sper...Additionally the biggest systematic review of sperm donors motivations also shows that financial compensation is a large component of the motivation for many donors.<br />Van den Broeck U, Vandermeeren M, Vanderschueren D, Enzlin P, Demyttenaere K, D'Hooghe T. A systematic review of sperm donors: demographic characteristics, attitudes, motives and experiences of the process of sperm donation. Hum Reprod Update. 2013 Jan-Feb;19(1):37-51. damianhadamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10765078467506261737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-81009030482269705022015-07-29T22:36:00.762-07:002015-07-29T22:36:00.762-07:00CS,
some donors do do it altruistically but resear...CS,<br />some donors do do it altruistically but research shows that some do it for the money, and others a combination of both. For example the following paper shows that for sperm donors from the Western Sperm Bank that the number of donors doing it purely financially was almost equal to those doing it purely altruistically, while those doing it for both reasons outnumbered those doing it purely altruistically. So it is clear that while some may not do it for the money which you claim was your reason, you cannot deny that the evidence shows that for SOME men money is the only reason. Please back up your arguments with data rather than rhetoric.<br />Almeling, R. (2006). ‘Why do you want to be a donor?’: gender and the production of altruism in egg and sperm donation. New Genetics and Society, 25(2), 143-157.damianhadamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10765078467506261737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-45374778841170782102015-07-29T22:11:09.062-07:002015-07-29T22:11:09.062-07:00"sell off a plastic specimen cup for a few bu..."sell off a plastic specimen cup for a few bucks" Your Poem also linked the cup with the golden handshake. Do you really think anyone would donate for a fee that does not even cover the taxi fare to the clinic. You are offended that donors are scared you're after their money? How much more offended are we to think our gift has been construed as a sex act for money.<br /><br />CSAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-16581771575589348602015-07-03T08:49:41.534-07:002015-07-03T08:49:41.534-07:00@BS
Nobody is shaming egg donors- but there are r...@BS<br /><br />Nobody is shaming egg donors- but there are real risks tot he procedure which have not been explored.Anonymity for whom? If donor recipient wants anonymity but the donor conceived person wants access, then what? You're viewing it from the perspective of the donor recipient who DOESN'T get to determine the donor conceived person's rights to their OWN heritage, history and medical data?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-25502495493706638132015-06-29T17:24:08.672-07:002015-06-29T17:24:08.672-07:00Even when you do track down your biological parent...Even when you do track down your biological parents like I did, you're still not considered REALLY a part of them. You're still watching from the outside even if you have some names; they aren't really YOURS because you are a stranger to them. All I've met are my bio parents, no other family. Still a secret forty years later. Yet people still think of it as a no-brainer ideal solution.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-35184118406543511452015-03-16T03:23:36.475-07:002015-03-16T03:23:36.475-07:00In the UK and Australia the same things happening....In the UK and Australia the same things happening.The Telegraph had an article of a woman named Emma trying to change her birth certificate.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-42312564779568726782015-03-15T06:31:06.549-07:002015-03-15T06:31:06.549-07:00This is such an emotionally charged subject. I'...This is such an emotionally charged subject. I'd like to point out that there are many examples of children created from egg donation that have been so well loved and with parents that handled the donor gift with such grace towards donor etc. e.g. leaving a clause open to donor to make contact when child 18 if both donor and child are okay with it. There are also donor exchange internet sites do children and egg donors can hook up just by using egg donor ID numbers. The whole world scandalised IVF when that first was around too but 30 years on not such a big deal. I agree it should be handled delicately but it's not so black and white. How about a 'compromise' that respects the donors need for anonymity and the child's need to know - getting detailed questionnaire filled out by donor (without identifying information) so that the child knows about donors history, personality, likes, dislikes, and about extended family (along with detailed medical background of donor and her family). We've also put in a clause that our egg donor can meet or contact child when they are 18 but ONLY if donor is okay with it. My husband and I are also providing donor with full phsychological evaluation of us as future parents so she will not suffer with worry down the track. A happy medium can be found (and I prayed to God to give me signs that what i am doing is right choosing egg donor...the answer was a clear yes). We need to provide either anonymous or semi- anonymous options, not just open donation...the reality is egg donation is here to stay just like the pill, condoms, IVF...lets focus on finding a good balance rather than shaming and blaming which gets nowhere. And I think people should stop being nasty to those egg donors of the past...they were giving a gift of life...it's so easy for people to judge...but they gave the gift of life- they deserve our respect not punishment.Beautiful Strangehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09392290077282028784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-34532078950890696112015-02-27T13:10:20.083-08:002015-02-27T13:10:20.083-08:00You speak for many of us former donors Ian. Unfort...You speak for many of us former donors Ian. Unfortunately the Legislative changes will not improve our chances of meeting our offspring if they have not been informed of their origins by their parents (as most have not). I think the key for us is the proposals to educate the public so that donor parents are encouraged to tell their children.Peter Listonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15710902748937823369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-91137059086666187042015-02-26T01:43:03.237-08:002015-02-26T01:43:03.237-08:00I've been forced to use a fraudulent birth cer...I've been forced to use a fraudulent birth certificate which states a genetic stranger as my mother & father. Everyone else's ancestry, identity and geneaology is revered except for the groups who were produced or acquired for the purposes of adoption, donor conception or surrogacy. Somehow these groups natural human rights to their correct ancestry is trumped by the people who obtained them's ' need' to be 'parents'. More and more of us are speaking out. I am about to commence the process of getting my true birth certificatemore of us are speaking out. I am about to commence the process of getting my true birth certificate reinstated. Only those who are victims of this injustice seem to truly understand how cruel and wrong it is to be denied the history and reality everyone else takes for granted.<br />Blood Mattershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11375945277242272716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-66668474479191401492015-02-21T17:18:59.088-08:002015-02-21T17:18:59.088-08:00Yes, but we have to start somewhereYes, but we have to start somewhereAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-59443512237354656982015-01-10T20:32:26.829-08:002015-01-10T20:32:26.829-08:00Types of Donation? Let's hip your readers to ...Types of Donation? Let's hip your readers to what a REAL gamete donor agrees to, shall we?<br />http://hesc.stanford.edu/donations/2-%20Stanford%20IVF%20Sperm%20Research%20Consent%20-Sept%202014.pdf<br /><br />There you go ladies and gentlemen. Check that REAL gamete donation agreement against your own to see if what you signed is really an unenforceable contract for a black market adoption of the gamete donor's child.<br /><br />See a real gamete donation agreement involves the donation of gametes and nothing else. It will say something like the linked agreement says "Donated materials will never be used for the generation of human embryos or to<br />make a baby."<br /><br />The recipients are allowed to store, transport, observe, ponder, study and generally not reproduce the donor in any way shape or form even embryonic. <br /><br />So the term sperm donor is really a misnomer when referring to a man who became the father of a child he's not raising through an act of sperm donation. That particular type of sperm donor signs a black market adoption agreement which is shameful and it's horrible that young men are duped into signing such agreements with marketing tag lines like "make money doing what you do for free anyway" or "don't flush it donate it". <br /><br />It's ridiculous that people say they are only donating sperm not children just look at the contracts they do sign! They say they agree to give up any children born of their donation! Not sperm, children! Furthermore they cannot give up a child until one is born. Nobody will care if they keep their promise to give up a child until one is born. It's after the kid is born that a 'breach' of the contract terms is possible. Only after the child is born is there a real threat that the father might think better of abandoning his child and come looking for them. And there are those that do. And plenty more that want to but don't know where to begin looking. Still more that have the nagging suspicion that there was something not quite right about what they did. They wonder how can they feel badly at giving someone the chance at life? Well to that I'd say that they should not feel guilty about giving someone a chance at life its a wonderful thing their children are born. Feel guilty at having abandoned them though. Do feel the gnawing gut wrenching guilt of having abandoned your children to the care of utter strangers who qualified to raise other people's kids not through background investigations or home studies as with a court approved adoption, but rather the ability to pay a fee to take home a baby that looks like them. <br />marilynnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-83898391424867776182015-01-10T20:15:14.024-08:002015-01-10T20:15:14.024-08:00Damian as one of your biggest fans and avid suppor...Damian as one of your biggest fans and avid supporters you'd think I would want to sign this petition. But I don't. You'll have to do some convincing my way because I think it's a petition to request more unequal treatment.<br /><br />I want you and every other person born to have the same rights with regard to your bio parents accountability at birth and I want you and every other person born to have the same accountability for your offspring. I see no reason to make exceptions for some bio parents to be exempted from this responsibility. I find it wretched that some people born don't have the same rights to their parents care and support as others. I find the entire situation to be nothing more than black market adoptions. All the adults agree prior to the birth of a child how they'll conceal the truth and avoid proper accountability for their children. I find the misrecording of of people's identities and parents to be a public health problem.<br /><br />I just don't see why we can't start a petition to end parental abandonment by gamete donors. You know that there is such a thing as gamete donation without parental abandonment? They do it all the time for research purposes and the agreements specifically prohibit the creation of embryos or offspring and reject the relinquishment of parental obligations and rights to any children that could be born.<br /><br />I want to see equal treatment and ending anonymity for donors still leaves the offspring of donors abandoned either as gifts or for profit and its just wrong Damian. People need to be accountable personally for the lives they create. I hate to settle on the record for anything less than absolute equality.<br /><br />Maybe I'm being to idealistic but I think human beings deserve equality nothing short of it.marilynnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-42043050650648313632015-01-10T19:44:33.282-08:002015-01-10T19:44:33.282-08:00Peed off is a liar she's a woman who is raisin...Peed off is a liar she's a woman who is raising another woman's child and she wants to show all the donor offspring out there they need not try to find their absent parents because they don't love or care about them.<br /><br />I've encountered plenty of parents who acted as gamete donors who signed those spiteful contracts not to raise their kids and I'll tell you what - I don't believe for a second that peed off was an egg donor. She's a woman whose terrified the kid she's raising will find out that another woman is their mother and be horrified that the woman raising them paid a fee to keep them away from their own family and erase their identity.<br /><br />Liar. She's just a liar.marilynnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-45967215378293012612014-12-21T14:42:08.104-08:002014-12-21T14:42:08.104-08:00"I have since gotten the agency to give me al..."I have since gotten the agency to give me all of my information and I have promptly destroyed it ... I have never told a living soul about this and I never will."<br />The link is very strong, which is why these statements are so emotional. Sperm donors were generally young men when they donated, but many have eventually come to terms with the reality of donating sperm. I am sure you will be able to as well, in due course. I hope so.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-28176440973439220772014-10-30T11:18:46.204-07:002014-10-30T11:18:46.204-07:00My knee jerk first reaction when I read this comme...My knee jerk first reaction when I read this comment by 'PeedOff' was, WOW what a jerk. But after thinking more about it, I feel very sorry for her. She sounds like she was not adequately counseled on all the issues involved with her egg selling. She is obviously troubled by the voices of the 'donor' conceived. There is a very real possibility that she can be tracked down via DNA testing in the future. I also feel very sorry for the intended parent(s) who bought her eggs to create children. Who would want their child to possibly find someone like this woman? Just imagine how she'd respond to them. Just imagine if YOU were one of her 'sold egg' children. This does not sound like informed consent.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-910811783181974732014-10-30T07:29:48.166-07:002014-10-30T07:29:48.166-07:00I volunteer in the foster care system, lots if fam...I volunteer in the foster care system, lots if family find.<br /><br />Sometimes I deal with children who are products of 'johns' by mothers with substance abuse problems.<br /><br />While there is no 'sexual act", you're a prostitute or worst sold your children. <br /><br />Sure an egg is not an individual, but you were aware of the intent and what your eggs would be used for. The callousness towards your own offspring makes me wonder how your parents view you, as their child?<br /><br />You may not be a druggie turning tricks for the next high, but you were also desperate for quick money. Or were you? You're smart & educated, you can get a job.<br /><br />You're a prostitute, and there are no excuses or logical reasoning for your actions.<br /><br />That sounds harsh. But you're suppose to smart, you're suppose to know better. <br /><br /><b>Come to peace to what you have done, forgive yourself and when your kids come looking I hope your heart is in better place now.</b><br /><br />Reneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03852754398007790428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-11471607294733071572014-10-29T18:02:07.172-07:002014-10-29T18:02:07.172-07:00PeedOff, it's true that when donations began, ...PeedOff, it's true that when donations began, they were just donations, but now they are grown up people who are curious about their heritage. And to think that all donors feel the same way you do on this subject is a little far fetched.<br /><br />I'm troubled that you consider yourself somewhat of a hero by your "kind act" of facilitating infertile couples to create a family, but at the same time are "haunted" and "sick" of "you people" that you helped create trying to bring regulation to such an important issue. Have you considered talking to someone about this? Your response comes across as quite emotionally charged and inconsistent for someone who has destroyed their records and thus has no chance of their children(?) ever contacting them.<br /><br />I hope you can find peace with your decision to donate, just like I hope to find peace with my parent's decision to use a donor.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-57847246749247107402014-10-29T13:57:30.620-07:002014-10-29T13:57:30.620-07:00When I was in college in California I did three tr...When I was in college in California I did three treatments and donated my eggs which were successfully retrieved each time. My goal then and I still stand by it is that I helped three different couples start their families. Read my lips I am not a mother but an egg donor who gave life. There simply is no need for anyone to get to know me and my family. Luckily I moved back to my homeland after college and no one back home ever knew what I did. I am sick of you people trying to make donors establishing relationships with strangers who should be supportive of their families. I have since gotten the agency to give me all of my information and I have promptly destroyed it as I was able to request this six years after my donation ended. I have never told a living soul about this and I never will. Now to be fair to all when I asked for the files I updated the medical files fully so there can be no lingering questions later. I do not want to know the children if they request this at a later date. They belong with their families and I belong with mine. And let me anticipate your smart alecky answer, no they are not my children and never will be. And let me further state there is no longing need in my soul to know the children or their families. Who would have thought a kind act to help infertile couples would come back to haunt me later on.<br /><br /><br />PeedOffnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-27682704955506066712014-10-19T16:56:20.475-07:002014-10-19T16:56:20.475-07:00thankyou for posting the link - I have already sig...thankyou for posting the link - I have already signed it - I will put it as a separate post so that hopefully more will see itdamianhadamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10765078467506261737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-76697534453271402032014-10-19T16:46:20.829-07:002014-10-19T16:46:20.829-07:00Sign this petition to help end anonymity in the U....Sign this petition to help end anonymity in the U.S!<br /> It is just an online petition, but it is something. <br /> Starting a conversation or discussion is extremely crucial to our cause.<br /><br /> Link to petition:<br /><br /> http://www.change.org/p/american-society-for-reproductive-medicine-end-anonymous-sperm-egg-donation-in-the-u-s<br /><br /><br /> Does anyone have any ideas of how to get this conversation going? How to advocate for this cause? Please post suggestions and comments on this site. I don't know any donor conceived people so I am really glad to see people posting on here and telling their opinion and stories. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-38368334510055402632014-09-08T17:54:03.982-07:002014-09-08T17:54:03.982-07:00The amount of support I have received over this mo...The amount of support I have received over this move has been amazing. Not just family and friends, but other donor conceived people, donors, and even recipient parents (those that were infertile and used donor conception). <br />Additionally the show of support I have received from law academics, social work academics and those researching in the donor conception field is reassuring that I have made the correct decision even if it doesn't get up.<br />Sure there have been a few who disagree with me and this move, they are entitled to their opinion.damianhadamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10765078467506261737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-21763270266508119102014-09-07T17:12:11.523-07:002014-09-07T17:12:11.523-07:00Where did I say I was angry?
You are making an as...Where did I say I was angry? <br />You are making an assumption. I have approached this over many years of thought and study of the research in this field as well as the study of the legislation and regulation.<br />If you knew about the situation here in Australia and what we have been doing you wouldnt be making statements such as being more productive doing X Y Z. Because quite simply we have been doing X Y Z for many years. We have had federal and state inquiries. I have even managed to get part of the legislation changed in my own state. Donor conception falls under the area of health which is controlled by the states and as such each state has different legislation or even has none at all.<br />Even at time of birth the document was not factual - even though legislation recognises him as the legal parent as it should do, the father recorded on birth certs is supposed to record biological parentage so it is wrong.<br />If the sperm donor (misnomer as he exchanged the sperm for money), does not want to connect with me then that is fine, nothing I can do about that.<br />I am seeking to be treated the same as everyone else here and currently I am not. Donor conceived people here are discriminated against.<br />The quest about me changing my birth certificate changed is not just about me but also about other donor conceived people and getting the system changed so that all parties are listed on the birth certificate. It is about created social awareness and instigating political change. The publicity it has generated and the fact that you are here commenting shows that it has worked. I have been productive as you suggested - you just failed to see it.damianhadamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10765078467506261737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31276461.post-43553585838347939782014-09-07T16:45:14.568-07:002014-09-07T16:45:14.568-07:00You have a whole range of issues here that you are...You have a whole range of issues here that you are attempting to solve. However since you do not know the man's name and unless he comes forward and volunteer this information exactly what is changing the birth certificate going to do for you? When in your life will this be of any use to you since everyone in your family, friends and associate knows of your birth. So let's assume you get this done some day will it make your life more happy if you have a piece of paper that say father unknown. You keep stating that legal documents needs factual information but at the time of your birth it was factual, your father was deemed in the eyes of the law as being your legal father so there was no deception. Wouldn't it make more sense to just try and have the original amended to leave your parents name on and then title it as amended with an explanation. Perhaps you can use your time more productively by trying to get legislation passed to make sure all medical information of the donor is given to the mother at the time of procedure so if the needs arise in the future it will be there.<br />I keep reading these blogs and you all sound so angry and are on a mission to unmask this person who gave sperm to a couple a long time ago. Everyone of you keep repeating the donor's number so isn't it logical that since it is seen by millions that the donor is also seeing it. And if they were interested in getting to know any of you wouldn't they have come forward by now? No one is faulting you for knowing your heritage but it seems the main stumbling block is that the donor sees himself as merely a donor and the rest of you see him as a father. <br />And finally what if somehow you do find this man and he clearly states he does not want you to bother him will it be enough for you that you know his identity and not try to interfere in his life.<br /><br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com