I have seen numerous comments recently that are mainly from recipient parents that are distressed over the statements of dissatisfaction and feelings of pain that some offspring have. In particular there seems to be a common theme of concern that their DC children will also feel this way and may also harbour some sort of ill feelings towards them.
As a father I can certainly sympathise with this in that no caring parent would deliberately do anything that would cause their child harm and that the child would then bear a “grudge” or the like against their parent. I think every parent would naturally harbour these fears.
I for one certainly do not have ill feelings towards my parents for their course of action even though it has caused considerable pain. I love them very much. I do not blame them for it even though I wish that was not the method to which I was conceived (I do not wish to go into the argument of then not existing here).
My negative statements towards donor conception is not born out a perverse desire to upset wanna-be and existing recipient parents. They are quite simply there to make people think more deeply about the subject and to look at it through different perspectives.
For myself personally it would have been far easier emotionally if I had stayed happy and grateful about being DC. It was a much more difficult, painful and emotionally taxing journey to come to my position and conclusions. The “epiphany” that I had about DC when my daughter was born was by no means a happy moment but an extremely distressing one.
I know that not everyone will agree with me and it would be a pretty boring world if they all did. There are many offspring that are happy with their conception, and that is great for them, but for every child that has some sort of problem (loss of identity, medical history, kinship separation etc) we are adding to a generation of suffering to which as a society we are not learning from.
In some ways I wish I could go back and be happy and ignorant once again, but to do so would require me to discard everything that I know and love about what it is to be human.
Thoughts of donor conception practices from a donor offspring whose views changed dramatically once he had children of his own. This event has lead me on a quest to find my true identity, heritage, family health history and genetic relations (both donor and siblings), for myself and for my children.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Interview for the New Atlantis
The following link is for the interview I did for Cheryl Miller of the New Atlantis (A Journal of Technology and Society).
Part One:
http://www.thenewatlantis.com/blog/conceptions/questions-for-damian-adams-donor-conceived-adult
Part Two:
http://www.thenewatlantis.com/blog/conceptions/questions-for-damian-adams-donor-conceived-adult-2
Part One:
http://www.thenewatlantis.com/blog/conceptions/questions-for-damian-adams-donor-conceived-adult
Part Two:
http://www.thenewatlantis.com/blog/conceptions/questions-for-damian-adams-donor-conceived-adult-2
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)