Monday, December 22, 2008

Reconcilliation with the Term "Donor"

For some time now whenever I see the term sperm donor it sends the hackles on my back up, that is it creates a very uneasy feeling. It is the term that society is familiar with when referring to those children born through donor conception via the use of another man's sperm.
However the term donor is far from the truth. It in no way represents actuality, and the cold hard facts are that he sold his sperm, he did not donate. To donate is to give freely without receiving anything in return. Yet if we are to peel back all the warm fuzzy connotations in regard to sperm donation we are able to see it for what it actually is. It is a transaction whereby sperm is procured from a man and money is exchanged. It makes no difference if this renumeration is for time or expenses occured in providing their sperm. Money has changed hands making it a financial transaction, thus making the biological father a sperm vendor.
No matter how pretty we dress up the facade, donor conceived children were sold.
The facade of altruism and being wanted so much by our parents has no bearing on the loss that can be felt within DC children. Whether that loss be minute or large, resulting from a lack of medical history or the severing of kinship and subsequent loss of identity, it is a form of loss. Any form of loss is a form of suffering and suffering is never the goal of altruism.
While it is impossible to change the terminology that society uses to describe these artificial reproductive techniques, I will always be the son of a sperm vendor.

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