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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Conflict Through Opinion

Reading a blog elsewhere that was dealing with donor conception and the posts on a particular thread, the debate really got out of hand. Personally I am all for free speech and people expressing their opinions so long as they don’t become personal attacks which is what started happening in that debate. Instead of debating or arguing the “argument”, some took it upon themselves to become personal. When this happens no-one listen to the others point of view and it ends up pretty much becoming a waste of time. I don’t think the adversarial approach is the best way to get people to come around to your way of thinking but that is just me.
That said it did appear that there were many who were reading that blog and posting who were only after pats on the back and reassurances that their decision about using donated gametes was the correct one. There are plenty of forums specifically set-up for that sort of thing, so if you don’t want to hear any potential negatives then those people were perhaps visiting the wrong website. Many were complaining that the thread would create undue harm to those visiting the site who were looking to use donor gametes, I would perhaps argue that it might hopefully get some of them to think about some of the other complexities that can be involved and question their reasons for doing it (even if the thread did end up being a bit of a slanging match). For myself I would like people to think about the choices they are making and to view these choices through the eyes of the child they are about to create and the outcomes that can produce (remembering that love may not conquer all – Hollywood myth) because that can change the perspective a hell of a lot.
Debate and civil discourse on this topic is good, arguing with abuse not so.


marilynn said...

It made the doctor think. In fact he is leaving the post up and so I think it was worthy. If someday the kids they raise read how they were speaking I bet they will be called upon to explain themselves.

damianhadams said...

Hi Marilyn, this conflict phenomenon has occurred on many other sites as well as this recent one. I don't know that the Dr was thinking more about it as he used his last post to take a swipe at some people he labelled dangerous and a vocal minority group. Which once again doesn't really add to the debate, but is just another personal attack.

Anonymous said...

"Many were complaining that the thread would create undue harm to those visiting the site who were looking to use donor gametes"

This is the oldest trick in the book - you would think they could come up with something different - the second oldest - "other" anyone with a real lived through experience as a minority.


damianhadams said...

theadoptedones, couldn't agree more. I am sure you get the same line used in the adoption field all the time.